Entitled Students: Victim, Bully or Both?

I was sitting watching the Oscars last night, and couldn’t help but listen in on my roommates’ conversation. It had been a conversation I had heard several times from them, and lately has really rubbing me the wrong way.

Both of my roommates are graduate students. They are in a more technical field than higher education, but they are not in a STEM field. Over the course of the year so far, I’ve come to understand not all faculty are talented with writing a comprehensive syllabus and course outcomes. However, last night’s conversation had me chuckling and gritting my teeth. I’ve had similar encounters with students, and each time they take me by surprise at the sense of entitlement they possess, and sometimes it really challenges me when advising and guiding these students. 

So here’s the situation for my roomates: ( Which I think is a typical situation for students in general)

A very general syllabus had been given out at the beginning of the term, which outlined the basics of the class. About two weeks ago, an assignment, that required the students to write a technical memo, was given and more detailed instructions were given. The professor set the due date for February 25, 2013. As like in most classes, the professor did expect the students to do some leg work of their own with creating the memo, finding resources and so forth.

Now, about mid-Oscars, while I was giddy over Anne Hathaway’s win, (And who wasn’t! J) my attention was grabbed by the growing frustration in the room. My roommates had reached a point where they realized there was more to the assignment than writing, and it would take them longer than the day and half they had until it was due. So they had reached a point where they were deciding whether or not to do the assignment. They felt that if the professor wanted them to submit their papers, that the professor should extend their deadline for another two weeks. They felt that the instructions and resources given were not adequate enough to accomplish the assignment. Additionally, they felt that the assignment was simply “busy work” and that they were graduate students and shouldn’t have to do it, just because the professor wanted them to.

I inquired as to whether they could find anything beneficial to the assignment, such as help improve their writing skills, teach them a new perspective, or even getting good practice at writing technical memos. The response was a flat and quick “no”.

Now, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably got a million thoughts running through your head and points of contention. Let me tell you, so did I! I had to pause for a moment to really gather my thoughts to ensure I asked the right question and to just calm down. After a few moments, I asked them had they considered all the ramifications of not doing the assignment? They responded yes, however after listening to them for the past few minutes, I could tell they hadn’t.  

Now, I had just gone through my human relations skills class, and we had a text by Mark Goulston. It is a fascinating book about relating, listening, and getting a “buy-in” when you need to reach a level conversation field with an individual. I suggest you read it, it really gives a great perspective and a few best practices that, as SA professionals, we can really take advantage of. Anyway, I began mentioning how I understood what it was like to be in that type of situation and asked a few questions.

Within a few minutes, it was actually working, and they were telling me more of the situation. It was an undergraduate/graduate class, which is where part of their frustration had begun and had been building from there. After about 10 minutes, I had gotten them to even acknowledge that they should have asked a few questions when they first received the assignment and started the assignment earlier than the day before it was due, and that they had simply been too lazy to work on the assignment.

However, at some point in time, they had eventually decided that if the professor didn’t extend the deadline at least one of them would drop the class while the other take poor grades. 

At this point, knowing these two, I just left them to their own conversation. No matter what question or advise I put out there, they were not ready to accept anything other than feeling sorry for themselves and being the victim in the situation. However, I found it fascinating that not only were they playing the victim, they also were playing the bully, basically blackmailing the faculty member for an extension or dropping the class and potentially putting in a formal complaint.

Like I mentioned before, I had encountered students like this in the past. And they have frustrated me each time. However, I feel that after taking this skills class I might have a better chance at advising future students with that strong sense of entitlement and helping them choose the best decision for them. On the flip side, however, I’m also learning that some students with this “symptom” may not always make the best decision even after getting them to consider more sides of the situation.

FYI as I write this, they received a response from an e-mail they sent the faculty member about their "situation". The faculty member informed them that he would give them until midnight tonight as opposed to the beginning of class to submit their assignment. Otherwise, each day late, he would mark off 10% of the final grade. So we’ll see how this all turns out and if either of my roommates will spend the next twelve hours hammering out their assignment the best they can by midnight or end up dropping the class. 

My Vision

Have you ever considered writing a vision statement for your professional life? As an assignment I had to, but since the reactions and comments on my statement were interesting, I figured I share it with the world. It's harder than I thought to write such a statement, but it also helped immensely to focus myself on what I need to do to become the best SA professional I can become. And I do suggest that SA pros consider what their individual vision is, cause it can help. Anyway, here's my Vision Statement, hope you find it interesting:

Having a vision statement helps to guide people, organizations, and businesses towards growth and prosperity. It has the ability to define the mission of a life mantra or purpose of a Fortune 500 company. It can also help a Student Affairs Professional move along their career path to ensure they are moving in the direction they wish to go all the while learning and growing.

For Student Affairs Professionals a personal vision statement can be a key component for success in a constantly growing and ever changing field.

My personal vision statement would be the following:

            I want to be a purposeful, effective and always growing Student Affairs    Professional through creativity, balance, well-managed areas of life as well as being firmly based in values and Student Affairs theory and practice.

As a mid-level professional, being in my sixth year in Student Affairs, within my intrapersonal vision statement, there are 3 areas I value, that I can focus on for improvement, at this point in time; balance, stress management and personal values.

Achieving balance is a fluid concept. It can mean a variety of things to individuals. For myself, in this stage of life, it means achieving a balance, or at the very least understanding my limitations within the parameters of my Myers-Briggs Type Indicators (MBTI). Susan Robinson Summers put it best in her final paragraph in an article published in The Catalyst writing “the MBTI is about becoming the best you can possibly be, by identifying your own talents, while gently shedding light on your blind spots” (Summers, 1995, pg. 12).

While Summers was placing this statement in the context of group dynamics and growth, it is quite applicable on the individual level as well. As a professional, it is necessary for me to understand and be aware of my strengths and weakness.

My Type Indicators are: Extrovert, Intuition, Feeling and Perception. After I took the test, both Extrovert/Introvert and Intuition/Sensing came back tied. In each type I was able to answer one additional question to break the tie. Taking this into consideration, I feel that these two types are well balanced. The areas where there should be a more balanced level are Thinking/Feeling and Judging/Perception. By having Feeling and Perception as my strengths, there is little separation from my processes and the situation at hand. It is often emotionally charged. While this may be beneficial at times, there is always a need for the ability to separate and look at situations from a ‘third-party’ point of view or a more logical, firm and consistent viewpoint. This can be applicable to the personal life, but definitively for the Student Affairs Professional. For example, Student Conduct, while empathy is needed to connect with the student, a separation and reasoning point of view is needed to issue consequences and judicial hearings.

Upon reflecting during class, I discovered that portions of my high amount of stress are the effects of being emotionally driven by being the Sensing, Feeling and Perception Types while other times it is due to my type A personality. While a Type A personality is more often productive, fast and timely, as with the MBTIs there should be a balance.  There needs to be an understanding of limitations of the amount of pressure an individual can put upon his or her self. According to the worksheet discussed in class, Type A Personalities can have high, and many times, lofty goals. They can be extremely competitive, multitasking and rushed individuals. All the while attempting to undertake additional work and responsibilities in their professional and personal lives. By understanding personality traits a Type A individual is able to understand and learn where they may be able to take more time for themselves or where they should not take on additional responsibilities. I am a Type A and adhere to all of these traits. Upon some self-reflection, taking more time for myself and less responsibilities are the first steps to maintaining a more health balance of stress. Also learning breathing techniques, such as the podcast by Dr. Wiels, and managing my time more effectively to allow time to relax and exercise are a few ways that I will be able to lower my stress to a more balanced level.

The final area that I value and can improve upon is my personal values. Edgar H. Schein, Mark Goulston and Judith R. Brown all make reference to or allude to having a solid foundation of personal values in their texts “Helping: How to Offer, Give and Receive Help”, “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone”, and “The I in Science: Training to Utilize Subjectivity in Research”, respectively. Both Schein and Goulston refer to a solid base of personal values in order to help others, while Brown emphasizes that a firm values base is needed to ensure proper research practice.  While I had a firm base of values while I was younger, since graduating from college several major life events have occurred and have required me to re-examine my personal values. One key event is coming out at the age of 25. While many of my values and life understandings seemed firm, after the coming out process I was forced to take a look at life through a whole new perspective. Three years later, I am continuing to define my values as a gay male, and now taking a look at how it fits into my professional life as a Student Affairs professional. While having a desire to help students, I can completely agree and understand how it is difficult to help others understand and find their personal values when you, yourself are struggling with the same process.  Goulston seems to summarize the importance of a firm base of values and self-reflection by quoting Abraham Maslow, writing “self actualizing people have a deep feeling of identification, sympathy and affection for human beings in general. They feel kinship and connections, as if all people were members of a single family” (Goulston 2010 pg. 45).

A personal vision statement for Student Affairs professionals is key to success and growth. As a mid-level Student Affairs professional, at this point in time, I find that within my personal statement, I can identify balance, stress management and personal values as key skills I have and value but still need to work on.

Brown, Judith R. (1996). The I in Science: Training to Utilize Subjectivity in Research. Oslo: Scandinavian University Press.

Goulston, Mark. (2010). Just listen: Discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone. New York: American Management Association.

Schein, Edgar H. (2011). Helping: How to offer, give and receive help. San Fransisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Summers, Suzanne Robinson. (1995). Team Building: Using the Myers-BriggsType Indicator: Appreciating the Talents Within Your Team. The Catalyst, 25(1), 10-13.

Bridging the President's Line in the Sand

I was glued to the TV last night for President Obama’s State of the Union Address, and these are just some ponderings I’ve had over the past few hours. J

First, the President called for accountability and affordability. Suggesting that federal subsidies will be based on affordability not necessarily by accreditation. He called for Congress to ensure that “affordability and value are included in determining which colleges receive types of federal aid.” Now personally, I am curious on what the President finds as valuable. Is his interpretation of value just the academic degree and name of the university? Or will it also include the services and engagement that Student Affairs brings to the table.

 Additionally, he mentioned of a College Scorecard that parents and students may use to compare universities to one another in order to figure out which college allows the individuals to, as the President said, “get the most bang for your educational buck.”

Now most of us Student Affairs people cringed during this portion of the speech. But upon locating the Scorecard, which I’ve linked at the bottom, it honestly wasn’t that crazy. The few points of information on it were points that, as institutions of higher education, we should already have posted. The Scorecard seems to simply make getting that information a ‘one-stop-shop’. I’ll be interested in seeing how the questions concerning institutions to follow their alumni much closer will turn out, but that’s another blog.

What seemed to be the real challenge for Student Affairs was bridging this line that the President seemed to have drawn between degree and experience.

Let me explain. In an overall context of the education portion of the speech, the President was adamant on getting the number of degrees granted up, at the lowest possible cost, disregarding the holistic practice that student affairs is pushing, which does require additional resources and time. Economically it makes sense. However, that seems to be how he is drawing a line in the sand between the degree and the experience.

Let me tell you, Twitter, during these large societal events is amazing. Twitter was all a flutter in #sachat, #studentaffairs, #emchat, #higheredlive, #sapro and many others that we SA professionals follow. Many first reactions seemed to question where in Student Affairs would universities and colleges cut in order to make college more affordable? And everyone’s defenses were high.

I think after an hour or so of tweeting the overall consensus was that rather than worry about what needed to be cut, we needed to be more purposeful and to look at this as a good challenge to meet. That our learning outcomes not only meet university standards and expectations but also how it aids in retention and job placement.

I feel that the President may be caught in a Catch 22 and is trying to make the best with budget issues, retention and graduation rates and unemployment. However I’m not sure if he is moving forward in the best way. Challenging institutions to raise the number of graduates and make college affordable for more students is admirable, but at what point does the quality and value of the degree become unbalanced with cost? Will we sacrifice engagement and the whole student for higher admissions and graduation rates?

It is definitely different than a few decades ago, when the government found higher education a key component to the success and progression of the United States and supplied an abundance of resources to ensure that it was successful, rather than continuing to pull support and call it a tax burden and a way to out compete other countries.

I’m looking forward to the next few weeks as things role out from the White House. I’m hoping that was as we move forward some of these ponderings will be put to rest with more information and details. Either way, if you have Twitter, follow some of the hashtags and websites that I have mentioned because there should be some interesting conversations coming in the next few days. J

Text of the State of the Union:

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/12/full-text-president-obamas-2013-state-of-the-union/

Scorecard:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/issues/education/higher-education/college-score-card

Self-Reflect in Moderation

I’m quickly learning that Student Affairs Professionals either self-reflect a lot or because of job demands and time restraints, very little. So, let me tell you about a small panic attack I had this weekend, after a lot of self-reflecting and what I came to conclude about self-reflection.  

Over the weekend, while with the boyfriend and roommates, a discussion began about plans for after graduation. I began self-reflecting on myself and about my previous position and where I ultimately wanted to go with my future.  For some reason, this triggered a flood of irrational thoughts and anxieties that everyone experiences at one point, if not multiple points, in their life.

Some of my doubts centered on whether or not I was intelligent and strong enough to be a leader. Some concerned whether I could do the work of a Student Affairs professional. Other thoughts centered on whether I had the personality and qualities to be a leader. I questioned myself, as in; have I learned from all my mistakes and faults from my previous position? Will I be able to survive university politics, and do I want to be involved in university politics ever again? I’ve seen it at work and it is vicious and unrelenting. Can I get past some of those circumstances from my previous position and learn from them and then leave them behind. Am I too late to really become an asset to the Student Affairs field?

I’ve done many interviews this year for part-time position, GA positions, internship positions, and none of them have panned out. So am I good enough for entry-level Student Affairs positions, or am I delusional and need to change professions?

I’ve been told that my expectations for myself are too high and I should not expect so much from myself when I’m not that good and need more mentoring and training. Should I listen to them or continue with my high expectations and keep driving forward?

While I knew that everything was being emotionally and irrationally driven through my mind, it still took a few days to shake off the thoughts and feelings that were swerving around in my head and get everything back into perspective.

So far, I’ve regained most of my rationality back. While reflecting the past few days, you’ll be happy to hear (hopefully) that I’ve had mostly good come from it. I’ve been able to clear up some things for myself. I’ve realized that like many, I’ve taken a very untraditional route into my field. While I may be older and over qualified for entry-level positions, yet not qualified for anything higher, I shouldn’t lower my expectations. I have learned from my previous position, but I need to also leave it behind me, and not let it dictate what I do in the future. I need to just keep pushing forward. Get involved where I can, do what I can, and learn what I can. Only the future will be able to let me know if I am intelligent enough or have the qualities and traits of a leader for Student Affairs.

However, to get to the point of today’s blog, I have concluded that self-reflection is really helping me to get perspective, and learn about myself so that one day I hopefully become a better man, and professional. However I’ve also concluded that if not balanced with reality, self-reflection can also hinder an individual. If a person over reflects and criticizes his/herself, it kicks up fears and can enlarge their blind spots. So at the end of the day, my tidbit of advice: Self-Reflect in Moderation. 

Greeks for Thought

So, this post is a personal opinion on some musings and thoughts I've had about the recent event at Duke University. Being in Student Affairs, and from Campus Life and Student Organizations, I’ve been extremely watchful of the situation. Additionally, I am in a fraternity and have that vested interest as well.

The minute I heard, I read the first article I could find about the situation. From there, I think I have read over 100 different articles, blogs, and internet posts about the situation. And I’m still reading up on the situation.

Now, in case you have been under a rock for the past couple of days, or not been able to get to any news source, the situation surrounds a fraternity at Duke University who has come under fire for hosting a themed party that had several attendees depicting negative stereotypes of Asians.

So, let me just walk through my thoughts, and maybe give you some food for thought. As per usual, my thoughts may be scattered, but I’ve tried to organize them the best I can for you.

Themed parties are one of the characteristics of Greek Life. However becoming better individuals is another key characteristic of Greek Life. And part of becoming a better individual is being culturally aware and globally mindful. So, where is the balance between these characteristics? Does having a culturally themed party, which could have negative connotations to a specific group, counteract the progress made by the same organization in preparing the individuals for a global society? How, in Student Affairs, can I be proactive on teaching this balance? How do conversations move past “it was just for fun and no harm was meant”. Are there not other themes that can be used that do not further embed negative stereotypes of people? Do the most fun themes have to be insensitive? Is there such a thing as being too sensitive?

Personally, I’m a little put off on some of the insensitivity of the reaction by some of the opinions written. I have to admit it does frustrate me a little. I know the benefits of being in Greek Life. It seriously has changed my life, and my brothers have been there for me when at times my family wasn’t. However, it does get a little exhausting always having to fight the negative stereotypes of fraternities, especially in situations like this, which simply continues those stereotypes. (Yes, I totally see the irony of that statement)

Like I said, these are just some thoughts that I have mulled through over the past few days. I’m really interested in attending my class next week, where we are discussing sub-populations of students, and social Greek students are one of the sub-populations we will be talking about.

So maybe this has sparked some thoughts or ideas, or maybe given you another perspective but either way, its food for thought.