Entitled Students: Victim, Bully or Both?

I was sitting watching the Oscars last night, and couldn’t help but listen in on my roommates’ conversation. It had been a conversation I had heard several times from them, and lately has really rubbing me the wrong way.

Both of my roommates are graduate students. They are in a more technical field than higher education, but they are not in a STEM field. Over the course of the year so far, I’ve come to understand not all faculty are talented with writing a comprehensive syllabus and course outcomes. However, last night’s conversation had me chuckling and gritting my teeth. I’ve had similar encounters with students, and each time they take me by surprise at the sense of entitlement they possess, and sometimes it really challenges me when advising and guiding these students. 

So here’s the situation for my roomates: ( Which I think is a typical situation for students in general)

A very general syllabus had been given out at the beginning of the term, which outlined the basics of the class. About two weeks ago, an assignment, that required the students to write a technical memo, was given and more detailed instructions were given. The professor set the due date for February 25, 2013. As like in most classes, the professor did expect the students to do some leg work of their own with creating the memo, finding resources and so forth.

Now, about mid-Oscars, while I was giddy over Anne Hathaway’s win, (And who wasn’t! J) my attention was grabbed by the growing frustration in the room. My roommates had reached a point where they realized there was more to the assignment than writing, and it would take them longer than the day and half they had until it was due. So they had reached a point where they were deciding whether or not to do the assignment. They felt that if the professor wanted them to submit their papers, that the professor should extend their deadline for another two weeks. They felt that the instructions and resources given were not adequate enough to accomplish the assignment. Additionally, they felt that the assignment was simply “busy work” and that they were graduate students and shouldn’t have to do it, just because the professor wanted them to.

I inquired as to whether they could find anything beneficial to the assignment, such as help improve their writing skills, teach them a new perspective, or even getting good practice at writing technical memos. The response was a flat and quick “no”.

Now, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably got a million thoughts running through your head and points of contention. Let me tell you, so did I! I had to pause for a moment to really gather my thoughts to ensure I asked the right question and to just calm down. After a few moments, I asked them had they considered all the ramifications of not doing the assignment? They responded yes, however after listening to them for the past few minutes, I could tell they hadn’t.  

Now, I had just gone through my human relations skills class, and we had a text by Mark Goulston. It is a fascinating book about relating, listening, and getting a “buy-in” when you need to reach a level conversation field with an individual. I suggest you read it, it really gives a great perspective and a few best practices that, as SA professionals, we can really take advantage of. Anyway, I began mentioning how I understood what it was like to be in that type of situation and asked a few questions.

Within a few minutes, it was actually working, and they were telling me more of the situation. It was an undergraduate/graduate class, which is where part of their frustration had begun and had been building from there. After about 10 minutes, I had gotten them to even acknowledge that they should have asked a few questions when they first received the assignment and started the assignment earlier than the day before it was due, and that they had simply been too lazy to work on the assignment.

However, at some point in time, they had eventually decided that if the professor didn’t extend the deadline at least one of them would drop the class while the other take poor grades. 

At this point, knowing these two, I just left them to their own conversation. No matter what question or advise I put out there, they were not ready to accept anything other than feeling sorry for themselves and being the victim in the situation. However, I found it fascinating that not only were they playing the victim, they also were playing the bully, basically blackmailing the faculty member for an extension or dropping the class and potentially putting in a formal complaint.

Like I mentioned before, I had encountered students like this in the past. And they have frustrated me each time. However, I feel that after taking this skills class I might have a better chance at advising future students with that strong sense of entitlement and helping them choose the best decision for them. On the flip side, however, I’m also learning that some students with this “symptom” may not always make the best decision even after getting them to consider more sides of the situation.

FYI as I write this, they received a response from an e-mail they sent the faculty member about their "situation". The faculty member informed them that he would give them until midnight tonight as opposed to the beginning of class to submit their assignment. Otherwise, each day late, he would mark off 10% of the final grade. So we’ll see how this all turns out and if either of my roommates will spend the next twelve hours hammering out their assignment the best they can by midnight or end up dropping the class.